We had another wonderful sacred circle meeting this past weekend. I really love the smaller groups as they allow for some deeper conversations to emerge. A client yesterday was asking about the talking circles – I told her several times how beautiful & empowering it is to see women, who do not know each other, come together in their vulnerability.
What I did not share is the following….
During one of the circles, I had been talking about my daughter & the energy we have between us. It is a strange energy I cannot define – it’s not bad. We are very close but not dependent on each other. However, for the last few years, when she is in the house & I’m in my home office trying to work, I feel paralyzed. I cannot focus. My drive to do anything for the biz goes out the window. It’s almost like I am waiting for her to ask me for something, to do something, etc. In my opinion, this is because we are so closely bonded AND we are in a funky transition stage – it’s constantly at the back of my mind that these moments with her at home in this way are dwindling. We will never know it is the last time like this when we are in THAT moment.
Based on comments I had made about my daughter, the energy between us & wondering about our past life connections, it was suggested to me that I may be a lawnmower parent. I have done a lot of thinking about this comment – not because I’m personally upset by the suggestion but because I did not handle it the way I should have in the moment. Before I continue, let me preface, I truly believe the person who made the comment had good intentions and was trying to help, offer avenues to explore, suggestions, etc. I have no ill-feelings regarding this person – in fact, thank you for the opportunity to talk about something Jen & I never discussed or considered.
It is so easy to assume we know what is right for another no matter how long we have known them - the right advice, the right answer, the right decision, label, etc. We are a beautiful powerful group of women – we ALL have valuable insights and contributions to share with each other. The LAST thing I want is for someone to feel unsafe when sharing in the circle OR receiving unsolicited advice that could potentially stifle them. One of the primary purposes of the talking circles is to share our stories with each other – to hear the struggles, victories & joys we have all experienced, to accept each other – AND to learn through listening.
Let me say it again…to learn through listening….
How much more feminine does it get?
This experience was a reminder for me to watch my words, how I deliver them and the energy I attach to them. As one of the moderator’s of the group, it is my responsibility to ensure we all have the opportunity to speak our truths & feel safe in doing so. For that reason, we put the power back in the hands of the speaker. The person holding the talking stick has the option of asking for feedback, opinions and advice - we will respect the wishes of each individual.
What you do outside of the circle is your choice. Perhaps, another’s story will tug at you – follow the energy to connect outside the circle. Forge your connections! Create your own safe & private conversation spaces! Support each other in mutual respect & love as you are called to! <3
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